10 Reasons Why Kermit the Frog is SWOLE and You’re NOT

kermit frog swole frog kermit smoking before and after

Seeing that big buffed-out toad there is OBVIOUSLY only one sane question that any rational person in his right mind would ask…

Kermit the Frog left the Muppet Show a decade ago – we don’t know for sure where he went and what he did but when we saw him again the other day he was like:

swole ass kermit the frog

………………………………………………………………………………….

It seems like he has been living his life Eating, Sleeping, Fornicating, and LIFTING!!

eat sleep lift weights

…………………………………………………………………………………

Now, calm down all of you folks, because I know what’s on your mind. The moment you saw that big buffed-out toad there is OBVIOUSLY only one sane question that any rational person in his right mind would ask:

Why the F### is that frog too SWOLE and I’m NOT????

 

And don’t fret, we will give you all 10 REASONS only here on About Lifting!

1)Because he trains HARD

train hard or get fucked at prison

…………………………………………………………………………………………

lol maybe he was imprisoned? So that is why he wasn’t raped

This frog trains hard – HARDER IS SEXY, and he knows it!

Do you want to train like that too? Follow this:

With every training session do the most that you ca..n within 1 hour. Utilize intensity techniques from time to time and remember to keep your rep ranges within 6-10 and do 4 sets at the most for every exercise. For chest, back, and legs do 4 sets each exercise and for arms and delts do only 3 sets per exercise. Your exercise must consist of at least one compound move (bench press, military press, leg press, squat etc) and one single joint move or isolation move (leg extensions, flyes, leg curls, lateral raises, etc) and be sure to focus on FREE WEIGHTS and not on machines.

Whenever you can do more than 12 reps increase the weight by 5-10% at the next set until you fail at the 10th rep. Reach for failure for at least one set in those 4-3 set that you will do per exercise; that means doing your reps until you cannot lift the weight anymore. You can utilize intensity techniques such as drop sets to extend the sets on some workouts to shock your system.

Squeeze your muscles on every rep and make sure that you lower the weights slowly for 3 seconds since the negative part is what causes growth and what makes the caloric demand of muscle repair to rise. This is a plus for people trying to fry away body fat – maintenance itself of extra muscle fibers and their repair after a negative-accentuated training costs your body tons of calories (muscles are expensive).

2) Because He eats real food

Where Mr. Frog is from there aren’t many packaged goodies available – there are no 7/11s, no Walmarts, and no McDonalds. He was therefore forced to live and grow on real, whole, home-cooked foods prepared by no other than Mrs. Frog. And no doubt real food equals REAL GAINZ!!

3)Because He doesn’t throw away his egg yolks

The next time you throw away egg yolks expect a gun in your head:

egg yolks are anabolic meme funny

……………………………………………………………………………………………

The society says that eating fats is bad for ya’ll health and shít, so they give you these Kellogs and sugary breakfast treats and say that these are “healthy”. Fortunately for this frog, he lives in a faraway swamp; too far away too hear all the BS that society tells us.

Mr. Frog right here loves eggs, oh YEAH!! And he loves his eggs whole. As it turns out, everything that we are taught about cholesterol being bad and sh¡t, are all LIES!! And cholesterol is the most important muscle-building factor that America wants you to hate. You simply cannot grow without eating fats, PERIOD!

4) Because he doesn’t concentrate on Only one body part

everyday is an upper body day

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Unlike your average gym rat who only knows how to bench press and Bicep Curl and never seems to progress; this frog trains everything – his Biceps, Triceps, Chest, Back, and most especially…his LEGS!!!

5) He knows the difference between Eustress and Distress

He trains and lives in a way that his stressful lifting sessions will elicit adaptation. For he knows that there are two types of stress:

Eustress (you adapt)

&

Distress (you fold)

Eustress (good stress) is one’s response when the stressor brings about adaptive response that allows him to effectively deal with the same type of stressor shall it come around in the future using minimal energy.

DI-stress is the exact opposite of EU-stress. Distress is a stress an individual is unable to adapt to thus overwhelming him; causing illnesses, fatigue, and later death. Distress is an aversive state and inflicts damage to the organism.

If you are doing a certain regimen for quite some time but instead of increasing your lifts or gaining muscle, you feel like you are rotting away, you always have colds, and you always feel depressed – then your training can be considered as a Distress.

6) He’s the Frog who eats LIKE A PIG

He trains hard and he EATS HARD!! Even when he doesn’t feel like eating he eats! To be able to become as swole as a 200 pounder, you need to eat like 200 pounder – he knows this and he LIVES IT!

There is just NO going around this – you need to eat more than a thousand calories than what you usually eat in order to gain muscle and strength. For slim people who have a hard time gaining even a single pound of weight that means “eating like a pig” literally. Eat your meat, eggs, rice, and so on. Eat a lot; eating is a discipline in itself. You might not feel like eating but you have to.

7) He lowers his weight slowly

This is a frog that knows how to train! And he knows how to take advantage of “Eccentric Accentuation”.

The lowering portion (negative portion) of every rep must take at least 3 seconds. This has been scientifically proven to produce the greatest micro-trauma therefore the most hypertrophic response as the muscle recovers and becomes meaner and bigger.

8) This Frog loves WATER

Obviously one of the advantages of being a frog is that he’s always surrounded by water! And let’s be honest here – our muscles are like 80% water! You want to shrink your hard-earned muscles the easiest way to do that is to dehydrate. Drink at least 15 glasses of water a day (that doesn’t include the jug that you take during training) to maintain your bodily systems and at the same time make your muscles fuller (bigger) and hydrated.

9) He worships the Trinity

In the name of the Deadlift, the Squats, and all the barbell presses…. Such is the Creed of Kermit the frog that made him swole.

10) (maybe) He’s JUICING

And no, we’re not talking about FIT JUICE here, but steroids! Because obviously, he wasn’t really a genetic freak as you can see his “before” photo:

kermit frog swole frog kermit smoking before and after

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

So who knows he might be on roidz. But loaded or not as long as you follow all those 9 tips above you will surely be swole or at least more swole than you are.

Comments? Violent reactions? Place a comment below! Eat your eggs, A Lifters!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
7 Simple Hacks to Develop a Morning Routine that Will Set the Mood for the Whole Day
Home vs. Gym Workout: Which one is better?
Find me on Google+ Ironthumb

Gain Access to Our Hardcore no BS Insider Lifting Updates and Newsletter NO CHARGE - these are worth THOUSANDS of $$dollars of PT package

* indicates required

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *