Corporate Gyms Suck and Why I Love Hardcore Gyms


I know that some of you guys must be training at high end corporate “fitness centers”. That is good and I am not stopping you. Anyways no one can deny that those places are squeaky clean and you have those saunas and hot showers which are really nice and I really love the steam baths after workout; they feel good. But there are just some things that I really hate about training at those places and below are some of them.

Music sucks: For some reason most corpo gyms just keep on playing back those bad techno remixes. I feel like nauseating instead of working out. We know that music really affects your psyche in a workout – it would either make it or break your lifts and in this case it definitely breaks it!

In street gyms you would either hear heavy metal (which I love), or just some tolerable pop or rap songs that you always hear everywhere anyways. Either those or simply silence or no music – which is my second favorite.

WTF, the Ears are cut:  for some reason some corpo gyms tend to cut out the ears of their machines (specially the leg press). I think they don’t want people lifting so heavy on those that they scare the pussy members away. That is just bullSh¡t!

Brando’s might be cheap but their machines are good and intact. I can put as many plates as I want and I don’t have to worry about scarring away sensitive people.

No Grunting: Another WTF! Related to the above item – since they scare away uninitiated, sensitive, gayish memebers. And I have nothing against homosexuals and when I say gay I don’t necessarily mean homosexual people, take note. I guess it’s just that serious lifters are really not welcome in these parts. The hell how am I supposed to leg press more than 500 pounds without grunting, asshole!

lunk alarm planet fitness
In the cheap street gyms I can do whatever I want I can even bang my head against the wall if I need to!

 

Very Cold: I understand that you need heaters during winter. But I really, really hate breathing on air-conditioners. It ruins my workout and I cannot sweat on air-conditioning. Maybe it’s just me.

Brando’s is cheap and they don’t have air-conditioning. Great combination!

Damn Expensive: I know they have complete equipment and they are good place for personal trainers to get employed and get a good commission. But why would I spend ten times working out on planet fitness when I can get the same benefits in street gyms which have rusty but usable and durable free weights? For one I think Brando’s have more than ten pairs of 50 lbs plates, more than enough.
This is my typical gym:

 dream gym

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Classic!

Rubber coated plates: Rubber coated plates are boring and they make the plates bigger than they should be. Plus they don’t make that loud metallic sound when they collide with other plates.

Dress Code: Why would you need to care what to wear on your lower body when you are only working out the upper body? Why I am not allowed to just wear my jeans put on a tank top and get on with business? Am I paying more only to become more restricted with BS? I know that all facilities must have their own house rules but not on stuff that doesnt affect how people in your gym work out.

The Environment: Working out in a corporate gym doesn’t fire you up. All these pussies on their ipads perpetually on the treadmill, there is simply no source of inspiration – the “pussiness” seem infectious!

I guess what I am trying to say in this post is that you really don’t need to go to an expensive gym to get great results. If you know how to structure a workout you will get by even with the most basic of equipments. And if you would notice, our regimens mostly revolve around the most basic of all exercises and machine use is almost completely optional.

So above are the reasons why I loathe working out in corpo gyms and why I love hardcore gyms. Does anybody here share the same sentiments? Please share your thoughts in the comments section. Eat your eggs, people!

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8 thoughts on “Corporate Gyms Suck and Why I Love Hardcore Gyms

  1. Hell yes. I hate the music they play in corporate gyms. Me and my buddy Nate always joke about how you’re going to hear Katy Perry, Selena Gomez and that shitty “Wrecking Ball” song once during every lift. Guarantee everybody in the place would be about 200% more huge if they’d play hardcore or death metal in the gym.

    1. 200%?
      Make it 500!!!
      I can tolerate the wrecking ball stuff since I always hear that anyways for example when you cross the street..but those techno workout mixes just make me nauseous!

  2. Never ever heard of a steam shower enclosure until
    finally I ran into this website, so happy I did
    so actually want one now and money permitting will
    probably be enjoying one soon enough

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