Because I lift for “vanity”; you got that right. I don’t care about the “selling points” the fitness media points out to the general public about “working-out” and why these lazy sloths should get off their miserable lazy asses and step into the weight room even for once in their life because doing so will benefit their this and that.
That one below is Serge Nubret:
1. Exercise can make you earn more money
Lifting weights can make you look lean, muscular and manly. Most of these traits are defined and viewed as “attractive”. And a certain study found that “attractive” people earn 3-4% more, so we can safely say that lifting weights can make you richer:
Interesting… I always thought that the average lifter is poorer because of all these food we need to eat and are viewed “uglier” in general; but what I am happier about is that lifting weights makes my traps look like a f*cking MANTA RAY! Cool!
2. Lifting can make you BURN FAT
Studies show that lifting and exercise had better results and burned more visceral fat than people who were starved. It is therefore an effective strategy to keep you in tip top shape all year long as muscle maintenance itself is shown to cost a lot of calories! Isn’t that great!
Is that gonna make my veins more prominent and look more JACKED?? COUNT ME IN!!
3. Exercise can make you more “attractive” with the opposite sex
Studies reveled that lean muscularity is the ideal for men’s bodies and is also in line with the hypothesis that attraction is a mechanism for identifying a healthy mate. Lifting weights help you burn fat and gain muscularity – therefore exercise and lifting will make you more attractive. You heard that?
What I always knew was that bigger men are viewed as “uglier”, so that’s definitely…good. But as long as lifting weights can make me swole I can walk ugly and proud!
4. Lengthen your life with exercise
Studies indicate that lifting weights and exercise can increase your lifespan. It was even studied that sculptors lived longer than painters although they were both artists just because sculptors had more physical exertion that comes with their craft. It is also in part of the health-preserving property of exercise making one less prone to ailments and strengthens the immune system. In other words it decreases morbidity rate.
That’s good and all, but if I get to choose between living a hundred years as a pansy skinny-fat pussy or just 60 years as a muscular badass modafuka, I would gladly chose to die SWOLE!
5. Lifting prevents metabolic decline
Metabolic decline comes with age. As you get older you would notice your skinny friends become fatter and fatter or become “skinny-fat” that is because our metabolism gets weaker and weaker naturally especially by the age of 30. Lifting weights can reverse this decline and keep you in shape even if you eat like a teenager.
I guess that’s great, since I need to eat like a pig in order to get swole.
6. Lifting weights strengthens your bones
I could care less about old ladies cracking their bones, I will be happy as long as my bones are strong enough to hold excessive amounts of lean muscle.
7. Helps reverse adult-onset diabetes
Diabetes is a booming business. How much do you think they’re earning from selling medical treatment, oral hypoglycemics and funeral services? Billions! It’s huge because the “market” is getting bigger! People now have what we call “adult-onset diabetes” or medically known as type-2 diabetes – this is not the inborn type but the type that people develop when they get too fat, and eat too much synthetic shit (I am looking at you, processed carbs)! Good news is that resistance training together with the right diet effectively reverses this.
The whole world can just die off their sugary deaths for all I care – I am just satisfied that my biceps look larger than they were last month, cool!
8. Lifting Helps fight High Blood pressure
Contrary to the popular belief, lifting actually does help lower blood pressure. This study indicated that hypertensive individuals (old ladies) have reduced their blood pressure by simply adding resistance training into their life. In general I really think that it is indeed normal for the medical field to steer people away from lifestyle modifications such as resistance training. It would not be wise for hospitals all over the world and hypertension drug manufacturers to advise something that will make people not need their products and services anymore.
I don’t care what these quack doctors say or what people believe, the important thing for me is that my quads are now swole enough that I can shake em’ before flexing them, now that’s a benefit!
9. Lifting can make you closer to God
God wants you to lift weights! The world would be a better place if only more people would embrace the “lifting” way of life. Imagine fewer addicts, fewer angry people, fewer crime rates, and off course – lower obesity rates which is taking a toll in the country’s finances. All that because most people would develop healthier bodies and therefore healthier frontal lobes which gives them more willpower to fight off their sinful vices and will also give them power to pursue meaningful things instead that will benefit the world as a whole (directly or indirectly); therefore more people will be able to walk the path of God.
May God bless you! But I really don’t care about society as long as my biceps are looking as buff as Shakira’s butt!
10. Lifting Weights can increase your survival rate from an accident
Muscles can save you from a fall or even from car crash. Think about this for a while: 3 people fell off a 20 foot cliff; assuming that everything about these three are equal besides their weight – Nick is 5 foot five and he’s 100 pounds, Jobb is also 5 foot 5 and he’s 300 pounds of flab, and Eric is 5 foot 5 and he’s 150 pounds and only 6% bodyfat. Whose body do you think would be able to resist any injuries the most? Who do you think has the highest rate of being able to survive? And most of all, who do you want to be among the three people mentioned if ever you would accidentally fall off a cliff? I don’t know about you, but I am betting my life on being Eric!
I’m happy that’s the case, but I will still lift weights even if it kills me as long as lats will GAIN the benefits!
11. Exercise and training can make you Happier
If you start exercising, your brain recognizes this as a moment of stress. As your heart pressure increases, the brain thinks you are either fighting the enemy or fleeing from it. To protect yourself and your brain from stress, you release a protein called BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor). This BDNF has a protective and also reparative element to your memory neurons and acts as a reset switch. That’s why we often feel so at ease and things are clear after exercising and eventually happy.
At the same time, endorphins, another chemical to fight stress, is released in your brain. Your endorphins main purpose is this writes researcher McGovern:
These endorphins tend to minimize the discomfort of exercise, block the feeling of pain and are even associated with a feeling of euphoria.
Overall, there is a lot going on inside our brain and it is in fact oftentimes a lot more active than when we are just sitting down or actually concentrating mentally.
I would still train even if it makes me sadder, but who would be sad if his chest looks like a warrior’s vest!!
Now, these 11 benefits are great – but with or without them, I would still bust my ass day in day, in sickness and in health. Why? Because at the end of the day the reason I lift is to become bigger and badder than I was yesterday!
And what if training would still give me these benefits but would not make me swole? I guess in that case you wouldn’t see me in the weight room, and you wouldn’t see this article, neither would this website exist. That is the honest to goodness truth. Call me vain, I don’t give a fuck!
But whatever my point of view is, these are still 11 more reasons for you to lift weights! Till next time, eat your eggs, A-Lifters!